things happen for a reason

there's a lot of going on in my life right now.sometimes i'm scared to open my eyes to see what today brings but that is something i can just close my eyes and shut my ears.like my brother said 

"Things happen for a reason". 

i always kept the happy thought on my mind but sometimes the bad interrupt.

i did tried to bury in deep inside but i couldn't. sometimes i just feel like crying and let everything go away.but its here stay with me forever.guess i put too much hope on him.(i shouldn't).

 i'm still in my bipolar addiction.i tried to stop but when the heart hurts it feels like i just want to cut myself.

i know i should love my body,but i just want to feel something that hurts more (like physical hurt) than my heart is feeling.

Lately i have been questioning God,i doubted his existence.i know i shouldn't be doubting God.but if you were in my position,you would be doubting God.sometimes there is a moment where i lost hope in Him.